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Popularized by the writer, HP Lovecraft (1890-1937), and sometimes called Lovecraftian horror in honor of him, Cosmic Horror has its appeal in its obsession with ‘the noumena’ and the insignificance of human existence, speaking to our personal fears and fascination with things greater than we are and the threat they pose to us.
Lovecraftian horror is about what we cannot escape… our worst selves, instincts, ailments, and fears, reflected back to us in a cosmic mirror. The other is out there but also in us. We are the cosmos, susceptible to its iteration and alienness, its shakes and quakes, and even its unknown variables. We may think we know who we are and what we are and what is out there, but we can never know.
Consider Lovecraft’s short story, Facts Concerning The Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family, in which a man sets himself on fire after discovering that his grandmother was a ‘white ape’ from the Congo (an example of Lovecraft’s real life bigotry), or The Beast in the Cave, in which a man kills a wild beast in a cave, only to discover it had once been a man like himself who’d gotten lost in the cave years earlier, or The Outsider, in which a man living in isolation in a decrepit castle is tormented by a monster as he tries to rejoin society. Arriving at a party, he discovers the beast followed him, causing the revelers to flee for their lives. Seeking to save himself as well, he runs away only to find he cannot outrun the beast. Then he realizes the truth, horrified—“I stretched out my fingers to the abomination within that great gilded frame…stretched out my fingers and touched a cold and unyielding surface of polished glass.”
Lovecraft himself died of throat cancer, a monster that grew out of him and took over his body, cutting his life short. We all fear that which we have no control over and cannot comprehend. In the film, The Thing (1982), based on John W. Campbell’s novella, Who Goes There? (1938)—a Lovecraftian twist on the First Red Scare (c.1917), a parasitic, shapeshifting alien mimics organic life at the cellular level, leading to paranoia and distrust among an isolated group of scientists in the Arctic, who find themselves at its mercy. We never learn a thing about the, well, thing, only that if it reaches the civilian population, the human race is screwed.
At the heart of human fear is the unknown (entity or other). Cosmic Horror stories take place in isolated places—space, the Arctic, Antarctica, a pristine wilderness, outside of our comfort zones—bringing us face-to-face with the unknown, the other, the alien. It is both horrifying and terrifying and visceral and existential. The protagonist is the unsuspecting human that unlocks or somehow gets an unpleasant taste of the forbidden cosmos.
A well-known author once wrote that it’s better to horrify than terrify, but you cannot horrify, then terrify. Slasher flicks are terrifying, but not horrifying—there’s no inner turmoil or dread that you cannot escape. The threat can be nullified, and the protagonist can escape.
With cosmic horror, once it has us, it has us. It penetrates our minds, cells, and bodies. It causes us to rip our flesh off, lose our minds (In the Mouth of Madness, 1994), deprives us of sleep (Invasion of the Body Snatchers, 1978), makes us distrust each other (The Thing, 1982), question reality (Event Horizon, 1997), question who we are (This Thing Between Us, 2021), and realize that in the grander scheme of things, we are nothing (Annihilation novel, 2014).
The protagonist doesn’t win in Cosmic Horror. This is true, even if the protagonist survives. It’s always too much. It destroys us, in mind if not in body, both. Our perception of reality, truth, and ourselves is shattered.
“I could not help feeling that they were evil things-- mountains of madness whose farther slopes looked out over some accursed ultimate abyss. That seething , half-luminous cloud-background held ineffable suggestions of a vague, ethereal beyondness far more than terrestrially spatial; and gave appalling reminders of the utter remoteness, separateness, desolation, and aeon-long death of this untrodden and unfathomed austral world.”- ― H.P. Lovecraft, At the Mountains of Madness
The point and purpose of Cosmic Horror is to humble us and remind us that the universe is older, more complex, and bigger than us. Cosmic Horror is about the nihilism, the dread, and the burden and despondence of human existence echoing back to us as cosmic entities we can never understand. What greater horror exists than realizing that we may never know ourselves and purpose and that it may amount to nothing in the end?
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A lament to the death of my romantic youth. Why don’t I love Off Campus and To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before? I used to dream in romance, the reluctant frumpy maiden plucked from obscurity by a prince in disguise. I was Sandra Bullock in While You Were Sleeping, desperate to be part of the world of the man she secretly admires, only to find love not with him though through him. I was the spirited heroine of Shania Twain’s, “no one needs to know’ secretly plotting my dream life with a tall, dark and handsome man. I was half the lyric to the tune; you and I collide. Elizabeth Bennett slowly realizing Mr. Darcy is her intended.
The magic died somewhere at the intersection of middle age and reality. Not a delicate unraveling, but the veil of night revealing the ugliness of day, a reflection that shattered the looking glass of youth. No magic potion, no yarns of spells to spin. No true love’s kiss. Reality was a steel man, maladaptively ruthless in its hindrances. I still remember when thirty was old. The fields have grown over and thirty is the past, a wilderness of buried moments and missed opportunities. No Eli Merritt to marry or Devon Lecusken to ride off with.
The ugly duckling never became the swan and the meet-cute never materialized on the street of serendipity. Love was a melody never composed, not even a bad note on my guitar to draw lovelorn tears. Hope became a headache, and dreams cardiac arrests.
The stories became torture.
It wasn’t that Cupid missed me. He just never showed up, not even to punish me for hubris, for daring to think I was the subject of love’s fancy. He was a racist zombie in the Kay & Peele sketch. For all was fair for fair maidens and not for thee; Lucy, a black star in a night sky. A maid whom there was none to praise and very few to love.
And yet there is yearning, a strong desire that lingers between North and South. Look back. Look back, it pleads like John Thornton, appealing to my sensibility.
Don’t look back in anger makes sense.
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The original title of the novel was "The Civilization of Light & Dark."
For the life of me, I cannot recall how I chose the title. I do recall there being a previous title, 'The Land of the Gods.' It sounded too much like a 'real-world spiritual place,' and many such places in the real world used that title.
I do believe it came from Ancient Egypt, what they called the land of Punt.
Many times over, beta readers and editors suggested a change of title. I tried a few. "Dark Was the Night" was a working title for a while. It sounded too horror-coded. See similar problems with The Absence of Light and The Forsaken Lands.
I ended up using "Civilization" as a working title. I expected my publisher to force me to change the title.
They never did.
Does 'The Civilization' make sense? It still sounded horror-coded. Granted there are horrors in the story, the title left much to be desired.
What does the title mean? is a question I got a few times. It's hard to explain. What is civilization? A stable or organized society, distinguished by advanced architecture, systems, and practices.
What am I trying to say with the title?
The long-form works better, I would say.
The Civilization of Light & Dark means only that a society is torn between light and dark forces, good and evil, survival and annihilation, and knowledge and wilderness.
I continue to call the novel The Civilization of Light & Dark.
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Memories of things,
We can only lose.
Memories of people
Always fuse
Memories of light,
Memories of night,
Of days spent dreaming,
Of nightmares dreaded,
And bad paths treaded,
And today
We are alive.
What does it mean?
I think so I am.
I feel because I breathe.
My footprints in the sand
Time tramples on,
And I am forgotten.
Stripped of the flesh,
Bones from Atoms,
Interred and forgotten,
Laughter,
Tears and farts,
And sickness of heart
Today
In your eyes
I am singing, dancing,
Soon to be sleeping
Where I dream
False realities,
Of a wishful mind,
A tenant renting time,
In debt to death
Forever,
A sobering word
For the unknown,
The nonexistent
That drifts from me,
Threatens
Everything I am
Folded, wrapped tight,
Bits and bytes
Saved and kept
Photographs on mantelpieces,
Trinkets and lottery bets,
Captured motions,
Of reflexes--smile,
Moments beguile.
Forever and always
Today and tomorrow,
And yesterdays
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Kadsa turned her eyes from the twin suns dipping behind the rolling hills of Mehronur’s meadow. Why would he say that? She sat right next to him.
"I am right here.”
Khansu squinted, boyishly beautiful against the setting suns. His small, full lips pouted. “You are beside me, but you’re not really here, Kadsa. We’re not together.”
Kadsa met his eyes, unease brewing. He waited for her to understand what he had told her. She glanced at his left hand, coiled into a fist on the grass. She should take it in hers, show him he was wrong. They were here together. Maybe, she thought instead, lean into him, put her head on his shoulders, and snuggle against him. Kadsa reached for his warm hands. His gentle smile revealed neat and even teeth.
Kadsa breathed again. He teased her. “Sure, I am not really here,” she said, winking at him. “I’m nowhere.”
“I am serious, Kadsa,” he said, squinting at the suns. “When they dip below the horizon, you’ll leave and so will I.”
Kadsa glanced towards the twin suns, partly buried already. There was some mythos about gods locked in a duel, or lovers trapped in an eternal dance, bound to each other by destiny. “If I am not here, why does this feel real?” Kadsa squeezed his hand, forcing his crimped fingers apart. “You feel real to me, Khansu. We’re here together.”
“You’re dreaming that you’re here and I am invading your dreams. It’s not real.”
“I want it to be real,” she said, yearning. “I want to be here with you.”
“You can be here with me,” he said, braiding their fingers. “You should come back to Mehronur. Come back to me. I need you.”
Khansu's face blended into the suns’ faded gleam, his words and every inch of him drifting out of reach, from her touch, her eyes.
Kadsa jolted from sleep. Her alarm clock chimed with a critter jingle she no longer cared for and had only selected because it reminded her of sleeping under the stars. She slammed her hand over the stop button, silencing the sound.
Then she sat upright in the tiny bedroom, the sound of screeching cars and voices outside the apartment, smacked in the middle of what her mother called, the mid-town, cozy, busy, and connected.
She hated it.
But she smiled. Today was the beginning of the rest of her life.
Today was the day she returned to Marut.
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Ultimately, it's about respect, for the lore, the people, and the author.
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Not as foreboding as it should sound, but the excitement for spring has always coupled with a dread of summer, because warm breeze brings realization of failed resolutions ... things promised, none delivered.
Though I do have a way of juicing on self-motivation, believing wholeheartedly that the goddess of fortune will pluck me from the crowd of the discontent, and keep luck tucked away in my pocket, the longer the wait the more languishing I do. So, in the event that luck is a turncoat with a knife, and the wound in my back is fatal, I would like to say, I tried.
That said. I have completed the sequels (two) to The Civilization [of light & Dark] and am playing with the titles: The Gate at Dusk, and Broken Realms. The former is mystical and the latter is on the metaphorical nose. I arrived at the former because of an obsession with Pink Floyd's The Piper at the Gate of Dawn, title taken from chapter 7 of the Wind in the Willows, where Mole and Toad help their friend, Otter find his lost son, which leads to catching a glimpse of Pan while he ushers in the dawn. The eponymous piper being Pan, the ancient pagan god of pastures, rustic (country) music, shepherds and the wild. Pan lives in Arkadia (Arcadia) aka a pastoral paradise (a real place in Greece that has been mythologized)
What does this have to do with my title?
Mole and Toad caught a glimpse behind the curtain of the natural world when they spotted Pan. Ancient peoples created intricate mystery rituals to tap into the wonders of the natural world. If the other side of dawn is daylight and pastures, then the other side of dusk is darkness and what W. H. Auden described as an 'artificial wilderness and a sky like lead.'
The Civilizations series plays with the mysteries of existence and wonder. Like human life, Maruti life is fragile, existing tenuously between here and there, adhering to rules that no one understands but everyone follows. But who are these gods? Books 2 and 3 are all about unraveling the mysteries of Marut and all roads lead to the Gate at Dusk.
Toad, Mole and company might not have breached the boundaries between the material world and the world of gods intentionally, but my characters are all about the journeys of self-discovery, with prophecies hanging over their heads and all. But, as always, these violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph, die like fire and powder, which, as they kiss, consume. The title of book 3, Broken Realms is, well, self-explanatory.
So, these elementary things got me through the hiemal days. And what will get me through the vernal days?
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These violent delights do have violent ends, and in their triumph die like fire and powder, which as they kiss, consume.
And so begins my first venture into in-person book promotion.
All the hopes of a doe-eyed dreamer.
Come see the pretty books and buy the pretty books. You must love me. Grandeur of thoughts.
Most people who come out to social or community events are elders and parents with young kids, and many of these people know each other, and are there to socialize.
So, I sat there waiting for the moment the cool kids notice me. All the cool kids are teenagers who are volunteers. I'm terrified of them, but eventually handed out business cards with bated breath.
In the end, I was a voyeur to the delight of others, watching the joy of others talk about their work and hoping someone would notice me.
I didn't sell that day. I have more days. More disappointment or new triumphs?
February is the shortest month. Promises to keep and miles to go before I weep.
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It's been long. A long, cold January. There are issues. I am working through them.
I have plans, also.
- Finish the sequels to The Civilization
- Finish my last and lingering contemporary novel
- Finish other unfinished manuscripts
- Visit book fairs.
Wishing everyone a postive start to the new year!
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People are leaving Twitter (yes, I'm deadnaming it). By people, I mean the privileged--middle class, affluent, elitist-orgs, celebrities who are tired of ... being challenged about their dogma? Peasants talking back to them? Elon Musk acting like a rabid fanboy?
It's not clear.Twitter has swung from heavy left-centric to shifting right-centric. Neither option is good.
Bluesky or Threads are all the rage (for now). My old ass tried the former, found it dull and hostile, and now I'm trying Threads after accidentally finding myself on there. In an ideal world, the introvert in me wouldn't be on social media. But the hussle as a small-time author with a small publisher means the job is never done.
That's not the point of this post. I don't like November. The first week of the month should've been the greatest moment and yet the sulk has kicked in--the book release of The Civilization versus the anniversary of my mom's death, a fender bender, the scale, and the cold. There's a delicate unravel as the dark days are here--no more Halloween/pumpkin pie season.
Nothing lasts forever, even cold, November rain. But do wake me when it ends.